Disney R18+

Never thought you’d see that rating next to the word Disney, did you?

Once Upon A Teaser
Cast – Adelaide Fringe World Festival 2020
Image by Daniel Purvis

So now that I have your dirty perverted mind’s attention, shall I begin. When you mix Burlesque and Disney together you get all of your favourite characters and stories from your childhood brought to life on stage in an R rated version for you to enjoy and have all those fond memories of innocence completely smashed. Oh but in a good way, a real good way.

Once Upon A Teaser is an award winning show created, produced and starring Viola Verve, that invites you to take a rather naughty magic ride, as the performers burlesque-ify and parody your favourite Disney classics, in a way you’ve never seen them before. Featuring an array of artists from all over Australia. The show is read to you just like a story book, narrated by the incredibly multi-talented Michael Wheatley. The show even features some loveable and rather comical characters as the shows stage kittens (stage hands, for those who don’t know what a stage kitten is).

{Check out the show, Click here}

Other than the fact that this show is absolutely spectacular and you really should check it out {click the link above}, I also want to talk about the amazing cast and crew that make ‘Teaser’ more than just a show or a job, it’s a family…. and I am more than honoured to say I am part of the family. That’s right, yours truly stars in the show. I have been privileged to be in the show for 2 years running now. I was first cast in the show in 2019 for the first ever season at Perth Fringe World Festival after a cast member had to pull out due to injury (I often thank her for that). I have never been so excited to be cast in a show that I had dreamed of being in. I was literally shaking when I was asked to perform.

On stage as Cruella DeVil – Once Upon A Teaser
Perth Fringe World Festival 2019
Photo by Jason Matz Photography

Cruella DeVil was pulled out of the box she had been stuffed in for the past year, dusted off, rebuilt, and ready to give it all she had. I’m not even going to lie, I was beyond nervous and good old self doubt was kicking in. This was the first ‘real’ show I’d ever been in. Yeah I’d been performing for 3 years prior but without going into too much detail, most of those shows would be classed as B grade and that’s putting it nicely. I rocked up for tech, totally fan girling (yep I’m that chick) over the other cast members. My gosh these are people I look up to and admire. Am I meant to be here, have they made a mistake. Deep breath… Trying to keep my nerves in check as I had a run through of my act and completely gob smacked that I was asked about how I wanted my lighting, who me?, I get a say? What was happening, I’d never been able to have a say before. Mind you I was lucky if I got to have a quick run through before going on stage. I was blown away by the professionalism and organization. There was a stage, proper lighting, a stage manager, a tech team, stage crew, a backstage, a change room. I know it may seem silly but I was impressed. I’m not trying to say that this is what I expect at all shows, just making note that this was far above what I had become use to over the years. I’ve performed at some pretty below average venues which does help you appreciate anything above that.

So, now that I have the shock of all this settling in and can attempt to enjoy this amazing experience that was happening to me. Every single performer and crew member made me feel welcome and included. For so long I’d felt like an outsider (my feelings and insecurities, no one else’s) but now I felt like I was seen and that I was good enough. Something I’m still trying to remind myself constantly and also something my incredible mentor Miss Alyssa Kitt is drumming into me. When you are made to feel less than you are for so long you start to believe it. Sad but true. Never the less I was now part of the ‘Teaser Family’.

Backstage in the ‘Disney Waiting Room’
with Ivy Temptress, Scarlet Adams & Miss Lady Lace
Once Upon A Teaser Perth 2019
Cast of Once Upon A Teaser – Perth Fringe World Festival 2019

After 3 nights in a row of sold out shows it was sad to say goodbye to all the interstate performers, especially Viola Verve and Lady Cara, who plays Ursula in the show and belts out one heck of a tune. So when I heard that Once Upon A Teaser was returning to Perth for a second season of Fringe I was over the moon because it meant I got to see them again. It was like no time had past and the family was together again. There was new members added and all the familiar faces too. So so soooo good. This time round I was cast in the show as one of the stage kittens. Which to be totally honest I was actually happy to be a kitten rather than one of the main characters. Not because I didn’t want to, oh gosh if I had been asked I would of said yes in a heart beat but on a slightly selfish note, the show was going to be 4 nights in a row and on the 5th night I would be competing in Burlesque Idol Australia. So not being a main character meant I could focus on my act for Idol. Plus I had already been cast in the Adelaide show, woo hoo go me!

Being a stage kitten is no easy job. Not even close. For the most part you only see what we do on stage but there is so much we do behind the scenes. Without the kittens the show will not run as smoothly as it does. Being a performer I feel it helps as you know what is required and what the performers and producers expect. You know the importance of setting the props up in the correct position, picking up the costume pieces, handling them correctly and returning to the performer and so much more. You are not there to just pick costumes up, you make sure the performers are reading and waiting to go on stage, set props up, buy time if required and even be a runner when things go hay wire, which sometimes they do. Added to the job of stage kitten for Once Upon A Teaser is playing the role of a character. This year I was ‘Dopey’ the dwarf from Snow White along side Madame Demi Diva who played a very pissed off and annoyed ‘Grumpy’ to a tee. Boy did we have fun. Not our usual roles but we sure did a good job (pats self on back).

Dopey & Grumpy stage kittens for Once Upon A Teaser – Perth 2020

Far out this years Perth edition was even more fun than last year. Hanging out with my girl Demi in our duo act as kittens, I mean dwarfs, getting the crowd worked up before heading in to be seated and then all the backstage antics before and after the show. I didn’t want it to end. Lucky for me though, I was heading over to Adelaide for Fringe World Festival to play my all time favourite princess, Snow White.

Backstage with the cast of Once Upon A Teaser – Perth Fringe World Festival 2020

OMG!! My burly sisters Demi, Calypso and I (just missing Ivy <insert sad face>) all jumped on a plane and flew over to Radelaide for not one show but 2. Demi and I had been cast in Once Upon A Teaser and also booked to kitten for Burlesque O Rama which Calypso had been cast in to perform her epic 007 act ‘Jane Bond’. This meant 5 shows in 3 nights, we’ve got this…. We are pros! Man did we hit the ground running. Off the plane and pretty much straight over to Nexus Arts for tech and rehearsals ready for the opening night of both shows. Once again I find myself surrounded by artists that I am fan girling over (Yep! Still that chick). Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be in a show with these incredible performers, let alone be cast as Snow White, who was originally played by Ainslie Adams but has since retired the act (for now anyhow, you never know).

Just as I started to think Snow White would remain locked away in my wardrobe never to be seen on stage again. She was back, however she has been completely revamped since her last stage appearance back in 2018. A brand new act, costume and soundtrack with a whole lot more meaning behind it. Still to this date Snow White is my most performed act. I’ve had her for close to 4 years now. It’s an act I hold dear to my heart, not only do I aesthetically look like her but I feel she represents me as a performer and reflects me in my ‘muggle’ life. Being able to perform this act in an actual Disney tribute show is a dream come true.

On stage as Snow White
at Once Upon A Teaser – Adelaide Fringe World Festival 2020
Images by Daniel Purvis

This was only the second time I had travelled interstate to perform, but the first time being with friends and being a part of a show where I had already met majority of the performers. It felt just like being in Perth, like home. Not only did we get to explore a little bit of Adelaide but also hang out with our Teaser Family including dinners between shows and drinks to celebrate another sold out season.

Drinks at Nineteen Ten roof top burlesque and jazz bar

Now most of you wouldn’t know that I actually have family that live in Adelaide, so as an added bonus I was able to spend some time with them and beyond happy to have them come see me perform. I popped their burlesque cherry, as they say…. hehe. Being in another state you don’t expect to have anyone you know in the audience so having them there meant the world to me.

My Aunty and 2 cousins with myself and some of the Once Upon A Teaser cast, Madame Demi Diva, Lady Cara and Viola Verve

What a whirlwind experience. We really didn’t waste any time over in Adelaide and a good thing we didn’t because that was the last of any shows for some time due to COVID-19. It’s amazing how much you can do in 3 days when you’re having fun! Absolutely beyond shattered when I got home but so worth it. Thanks for having us, I’m sure we’ll be back as soon as we can…. ready for the next season {wink wink, nudge nudge}.

Back stage with the cast of Burlesque O Rama & Once Upon A Teaser – Adelaide 2020

Not only do I have my beautiful burly sisters, who are also part of the Teaser Family, Ivy TemptressTinkerbell, Madame Demi DivaRupanzel and Calypso D’LightTigger, here in Perth but I also have my Teaser Family spanning across the whole of Australia. Thank you Viola for taking a chance on me and allowing me to be part of something truly special. And that there is where it ends before I start crying like a baby because I’m a highly emotional and sentimental person.

Love Delza xoxo

If you’d like to check out the show, you can. The entire show is available for purchase for you to enjoy in the comfort of your own living room. Click the link below ⬇️

A DISNEY TRIBUTE – ONCE UPON A TEASER (Adelaide Fringe 2020)

Cast of Burlesque O Rama – Adelaide Fringe World Festival 2020

Under House Arrest

Photo by Fate Photography

Lockdown, quarantine, isolation, social distancing…. who would of thought this would ever happen in our life time…. but BAM! Corona hit, and hit hard, real fast.

This virus has impacted the entire world and has affected each and every one of us differently. From illness to plans being cancelled, isolated from loved ones, loss of jobs and income. Some have been affected more so than others but none the less we have all felt it.

When this all hit Australia with a whopping big slap in the face, I sure as hell felt it like a punch to the gut. First, shows that I had been booked to perform in were cancelled, then boarders were closed off meaning my trip to New Zealand to perform at The New Zealand Burlesque Festival was cancelled and the actual event itself was unfortunately cancelled too. My final dental surgery was postponed to months down the track. Beauty salons were put on the ban list and then kids were asked to stay home from school if possible. Now this may all seem like first world problems to most, and yeah I guess it is but when that all hit me it was hard to swallow. Which started a downward spiral into a depressive state. Everything had changed very rapidly and I was technically forced into unemployment but then made to work for free in a profession I am not qualified to do. Was this the start of something like ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’…. What on earth.

That’s right, I was now a school teacher. A primary and high school teacher. Lord help me. Having 1 child in primary school and 1 in high school made things extra hard. Just trying to teach 2 kids is hard enough, seriously anyone with more than 2, far out, are you still sane? So how did we all go? Cos I almost had a mental breakdown, not even kidding. I had one particular day there where I sat at the dining table with my face in my hands sobbing at the fact that if I fail at this then my kids fail…. yeah I know they will be fine, but at the time tensions were high. Oh and to all those who posted on social media about how amazing it was can go suck a ____ <how do I insert an eggplant emoji here>. I call bullshit on your perfect little study set ups and sneaky selfies sipping wine with your kids in the background working away peacefully. Be honest, you smashed back the whole bottle in one day. Ok, maybe I’m just a little bit jelly but really though, rub it in much.

Don’t get me wrong the teachers did an epically amazing job of getting all the school work online and offering a huge amount of support for the parents homeschooling their kids but it was still a lot to take on. My youngest was certainly easier than my eldest. Trying to navigate 3 different online platforms to get their school work and keep up with emails and messages from 10 or more teachers was a task in itself. However we pushed on through and made the most of it.

Our home school daily schedule

For the end of term 1 as everyone was starting to take their kids out of school and the online stuff was still being set up by the school I decided to make a daily schedule up to try and attempt some sort of routine. This actually worked really well but as term 2 rolled in and the school had made up the work packs, things changed. Again my youngest being in year 4 was far easier to deal with than my eldest who is in year 7. Trying to stick to the usual daily schedule he has at school and checking into each class as if he was there moving from class to class was beyond difficult. By the time we worked out what he needed to do for a class he literally had 10 minutes left before needing to move on to the next class. This caused an immense amount of stress and anxiety for my son which only made me more stressed.

I am very lucky that both of my kids are actually pretty smart little cookies but for my eldest dealing with the change and struggling to navigate the online schooling was made harder due to his anxiety and sensory issues, OCD, and motor processing disorder. At school he has access to EA help and also the school social worker. So yeah, homeschooling not so fun for me or the kids. I heard so many parents make the comment that teachers need a pay rise after all this as now us parents have experienced first hand what it’s like to be a teacher. Look teachers sure as hell went above and beyond to make things work during this time and had to adapt quickly to accommodate for kids at school still and kids being home schooled, heck yeah they deserve a bonus at least…. however can we all please remember that teachers not only get paid to teach our children but they are also qualified to do so, us parents on the other hand are not.

Mind you, as much as I found it hard trying to help my kids (not so much teach) with their school work and not knowing my way round some of those subjects, English I’m looking at you. Oh, I also forgot to mention the fact that my husband was away at work so this was all left to me to tackle solo. I was however delighted to help with one subject…. drum roll please…. Drama! When I read through the assignment details I was literally grinning from ear to ear, thinking <I’ve got this>. Stage lighting, props, characterization, facial expressions…. <Mumma got this one>. Going through and talking about all these things and watching my son become more and more interested and really enjoying learning about something that I love was the absolute best thing to experience (oh Lordy, now I’m crying like a baby) and worth every bit of stress that came before that.

School work at the dining table and morning bike rides

So, yes homeschooling was a huge stress and was definitely not at all within my skill set but there was good parts to having my kiddies home. Having the daily schedule in place to start off with meant going on daily walks/bike rides for exercise, gardening, outdoor adventures and cooking each day altogether. Plus one day my little man decided to do my makeup as part of ‘creative time’. We had so much fun filming that one. He did however turn me into the Joker, which of course I’m totally cool with.

Now, getting back to my downward spiral into a depressive state…. when COVID-19 set in and the whole of Australia was busy hoarding toilet paper (which I still don’t understand) I was dealing with huge adjustments and disappointments. Yeah, I know “it’s just the way things are now”. I found the worst part was the fact that this was what everyone would say, “it’s just the way the things are now”…. no shit Sherlock. Regardless of what is happening in the world, what is happening to you is still valid. Were we all of a sudden not allowed to feel anything or express our emotions. Seriously, I get that the whole world has come to a stand still and everyone is adjusting to the change and the panic of it all but being cut down and pretty much told that me being upset my surgery is cancelled, being angry my salon is banned from operating and I now have little to no income coming in, being stressed I’m having to home school my kids just doesn’t matter because “it’s just the way things are now”.

Holding all these feelings and emotions in only makes it worse. It took me a few long ass weeks to get my feelings in check and come to the realization that being pissed off about how my life had changed wasn’t going to make it any better. It was time to crawl out of my self loathing state and embrace the change, find ways to not only occupy my time (other than homeschooling) but also make me smile and have things to look forward to. It looked like I was going to be self isolating for a rather long time (5 weeks I didn’t leave the house other than to pick up or drop off my hubby at the airport – FIFO life) sooooo…. As lame (or cringy as my kids say) as it may be, I started making tiktok videos. I even got my friends to join in, by getting them to film at home and send to me to be edited together {you know the whole social distancing thing}. This got me doing my hair and make up each day, which makes me feel good. I even finally got onto starting my Etsy store selling t-shirts featuring custom designs inspired by body positivity and confidence. I also brought the Western Australia Burlesque community together in a ‘Pass The Glove’ challenge, and then went on to getting the whole of Australia onto doing a nation wide edition. That’s just to name a few things that got me out of my dark hole, and when I say dark hole I mean cosy warm bed.

Keeping busy and having stuff to do helps the time pass and also gives you a reason to get up and get moving each day. If I hadn’t of found something to do I legit would of stayed in my PJs all day watching Netflix and not really doing much more than I absolutely had to do. Well really I do have to get up each day anyhow, you know the whole Mum thing but other than that it would have been a Netflix and chill marathon. I don’t even think my friends realized how much Friday night online catch ups meant to me. It gave me something to look forward to, dress up for and drink wine for fun not to drown my sorrows.

I have never not worked. I went from high school to college and straight into working in a beauty salon then within a year to owning my own salon. I barely even take sick days let alone holidays and certainly not maternity leave. I don’t always work all day long but I pretty much work everyday, 7 days a week. So not working is new to me and I don’t like it one bit. I’m lucky that I’ve still be able to sell beauty products which provides a little bit of monies to help contribute to the household. I tell you what though having all this extra time up my sleeve has meant lots of spare time to spring clean, reorganize and redecorate my house. My front living room is finally transforming into a beautiful vintage sitting room which my friends have named ‘The Parlour’. Plus all those things my hubby said he would get to eventually, well that list is getting ticked off pretty quick now, because when he is home from work, where is he going….. nowhere {rubs hands together and laughs with a very evil tone, more evil than usual}.

As of right now, I’m doing pretty well. Soon (fingers crossed) salons will be allowed to reopen. There is going to be a lot of very hairy kitties heading my way in hoards (mental note, stock up on wax). I’ve actually left the house and got out of the car, yay. Kmart was calling for me lol. My kids are back at school and they are so much happier. Since the number was increased for group gatherings I’ve even been able to see my friends face to face altogether. The online catch ups were and still are amazing but seeing some one face to face is far better. It’s amazing how you appreciate the things you take for granted once you are forced to see them in another light. Seriously, I’ve never been so happy to live on 5 acres of land, having that space for my kids to run around, is a blessing, and also have my parents live right next door. I know there are so many people out there going through self isolation alone. I can’t even imagine how hard it would have been if I wasn’t able to see my family for weeks on end.

So, amongst the fear, panic buying, washing your hands hundreds of times a day and all of the unknown, we can get through this. Be there for one another, keep the love and support going, even after all of this and validate each others feelings. Remember that there is always someone worse off than you but what you are going through still matters because it matters to you. Check in with your friends, we are all dealing with this in such different ways. Some are embracing the isolation and others are struggling. As restrictions start to ease things will start to improve and eventually return to ‘normal’. Til then try your best to be kind and understanding and not hoard the darn TP like a bloody idiot.

Love Delza xoxo

‘Crack The Mirror Of Perfection’ – Tee available via my Etsy store

Best Friends 4 EVA Or Not?

‘Bury your friend’
Miss Van Dutch & I
Photo by Fate Photography

Trying to keep everyone happy and not upset anyone can become a fulltime job. Far out sometimes peopling can be hard work….

There has been times where my relationship with either a good friend or my partner has come into question, which has left me wondering if I am genuinely a nice person or I am a complete c#%t and just don’t know it <deep in thought> I’m sure I’m not the only one that has been faced with this thought from time to time.

Before I get right into the thick of things…. I want everyone that is reading this to know that everything I say in my blogs is coming from my own personal experience. I am not a psychologist and anything I say is simply my opinion.

So…. let’s talk some relationship home truths. For starters every single type of relationship is unique, from friends to lovers and even work colleagues. Why are they unique…. because each of us as individuals are unique. Put two people together and there will be fireworks, good and/or bad. Then add that into a group and even more fireworks. Each of us as individuals have different and unique personality traits and this heavily factors into whether or not you will get along with someone, like someone, or even have a short or long term relationship with them. You can not and will not be liked by everyone, it just isn’t possible and that’s ok.

Being in my late 30s now, I’ve had many friends come and go. Some I miss terribly. As you change as a person, find new interests or even move to a new area you will meet new people and sometimes unfortunately grow apart from old friends. It’s just what happens in life. I still have a few friends from way back in primary school I unfortunately don’t see or even talk to often, but we can literally just pick up where we left off no matter how much time has passed. We all have busy lives with work, family, hobbies or extracurricular activities (wink wink, nudge nudge… I’m kidding, or am I… I meant sport/gym…. gosh get your head out of the gutter lol) etc but no matter how busy I am I will try my best to make time for my friends. Honestly, book me in for a coffee date and I’ll be there. So people, how about instead of saying “I’m too busy”, perhaps attempt to make a time to catch up. You’d make time in an heart beat for a love interest (that includes your tinder hook ups) wouldn’t you.

Now, I haven’t done the whole dating thing as I have been with my husband since we were just 14 years old…. just over 24 years together now. It’s a long time, especially this day in age. So obviously being in just the one relationship (that you know of…. again, I’m kidding…. just keeping you on your toes) for a very long time does limit my knowledge on the dynamics of the whole dating realm. However I do have plenty of friends still out there looking for their perfect match (and I use the word ‘perfect’ loosely) and they provide ample amounts of knowledge on this section of relationships. My husband and I have been really lucky in the fact that we have grown together rather than apart and found a way to work through every hurdle that has come our way. Wowzers there’s been a few doozies. After all we are a team “for better or worse”. Please don’t think this means it has all been rainbows and lollipops, we’ve certainly had our ups and downs and even almost got divorced… which I’m not even going to get into right now.

My husband and I – 2019
Photo by Fate Photography

I’ll let you in on a little tip…. if you love someone, you will find a way to forgive, repair and move on from just about anything. There are of course some huge exceptions to this but that’s for you yourself to decide what is worth forgiving and if that person is worth it. No relationship or couple is perfect, NO ONE!!! Remember those unique personalities I mentioned, that’s the reason why there is no perfect relationship. It’s all a myth, like a unicorn (hehe, inside joke). Look you can come pretty close but come on at some point you are going to disagree about something. No one, except the couple themselves truly knows what goes on behind closed doors, so to speak. We should all know by now that social media only shows the best parts of anyones life. So please do not compare yourself and your relationship with anything you see on social media. Trust me, Ive seen the flip side of plenty of my friends lives. Friends posting loving posts about their partner yet they literally just had a conversation with me about how much they loath them. Yeah that actually happens.

For anyone that knows me well, knows I am a [VERY] forgiving and understanding person. I guess this is part of my unique personality. I’m not saying that people can treat me like shit and I don’t care. Bloody oath I care and you can bet your ass I will cry, over think and not sleep over these situations. I am 100% an optimist, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and also see the good in them. Yes, this has bitten me in the beautiful peachy booty many times. Yet I still choose to offer second, third and fourth, oh ok and fifth chances to people before cutting them out of my life completely. Even though I’ve legit only ever completely cut someone I’ve called a good friend from my life 3 times. That’s right 3 people have been removed from my life for good. Two of them were just plain narcissists but the other one had hurt me very badly and what could have been so easily mended wasn’t because for the life of him he could not say “I’m sorry”. Just 2 words, I didn’t even want an explanation or even a conversation about what happened, I just wanted to hear those 2 words and then I would of forgiven and moved on. Was I asking too much? Does your pride really get in the way that badly?

When someone stops talking to you, ghosts you or just completely cuts you from their life it can hurt like a mother flipping b#%ch. Especially if you do care about them and have no clue what you did or honestly just didn’t realise your actions caused them hurt. Gosh darn it…. At least tell them what they did or do you really not give 2 sh%ts about that person that you aren’t even willing to approach them about this. Yell, scream, cry tell them to go jump or the standard “f#%k you” works pretty well. Just say something. Seriously sometimes we just don’t bloody have a clue. Yep, people are getting more and more ignorant. I would be beside myself if I found out I hurt a friend and didn’t know I had. I would definitely want to apologise and try to sort it out. I’ll be honest, I have a very sarcastic sense of humour and unless you know that about me you could get offended but I also wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m extremely loyal and giving aswell.

Writing this brings up a lot of emotions for me. Almost 4 years ago the person I called my best friend and I loved like a sister stopped talking to me. I spent close to 3 years going crazy trying to figure out what I did that was so unforgiving that she didn’t want me in her life anymore. So many tears and so many sleepless nights, until one day I realised I just have to move on. Not only did I loose her, my kids lost their friends and I don’t get to see my god daughter. Although there is a small amount of communication still there, I don’t ever see it getting much better than that. I’d give anything to go back and fix what ever I did, unfortunately that’s just not how it works.

If you have someone, friend or partner saying you’ve hurt them, bloody listen! Regardless if you think they are being pathetic or over reacting. If they are saying they are hurt, upset or angry then you need to listen and for just a moment try and see it from their point of view. After all this person is your friend or partner, they mean something to you, right?

Let’s be honest at some point you are going to upset someone. You can not make everyone happy. You may have arguments with your partner and get over it and make up much easier and quicker than you would with a friend. I’ve always been troubled by this. Why is it so much harder to work things out with a friend rather than a partner? I guess this comes down to the dynamics of the actual relationship. You love and care about friends in a different way to your partner. Never the less for stuff sakes, can we all just be adults and speak to each other. Talk it over, validate each others feelings and make up. Really think about it, is it worth loosing a friend over or breaking off your relationship with your partner all because you either couldn’t say sorry or you couldn’t tell them you were/are upset. People speak up. Honestly are you going to forget every good time over one bad time? Well are you?

Personally I feel that friendships are very special and just aren’t worth giving up on easily. Some would disagree (I feel the death stares right now) but like I said I am pretty forgiving. All I’m trying to say is think about how important that person is before you make a massive decision about cutting them from your life. I truly believe that people do some f#%ked up sh%t for all sorts of f#%ked up reasons. Don’t even sit there and think you’ve never done any of this foolishness, you know you have. When emotions are high people can and will become irrational. No matter how hard you try and even though you know that if your friends were acting irrationally and talking some sort bull dang you’d be telling them to cut the crap, you still do it. We are human and we are not perfect.

3 of my closest friends, my burly sisters The After Dusk Darlings
Back stage at Fringe World Perth 2020
Photo by Fate Photography

This brings me to one of my biggest pet hates. People giving advice or saying what they would or wouldn’t do in a situation that they are not in. Just cut that crap out. It isn’t helpful and you need to stop. You have no idea what you would or wouldn’t do because it’s not happening to you and it’s not your relationship! Offer support and understanding but allow the person to make their own decision on the matter. The amount of times I’ve heard someone say “if my partner did that to me, I’d leave them”. Well Karen, would you though, like really would you? Go think on that one. Far out I wouldn’t even be married to my husband or maybe even made it down the aisle if I listened to any of that bull dang. Same with a friendship situation, people saying “I wouldn’t speak to them ever again, if I were you”. Well, you aren’t me so just zip it. Just be there for the people you love and let them decide for themselves, after all it’s their life not yours.

Ohhh, another pet hate…. why not hey. Choosing sides. If I have a situation where I have 2 friends having a disagreement or happen to be in a relationship that’s hit a bumpy road or ended up in Splitsville I will not take sides. My choice to not take sides has not always been welcomed by others within the friend circle and even sometimes with the friends primarily involved. Why the hell do I have to choose which friend I’m taking the side of or keeping in my life. What did they do to me? Nothing. Don’t ask people to take sides or choose, that’s not cool. Are we in primary school? Nope, we are grown ass adults.

These people you call your friend, your family, your lover, your partner are all in your life because they matter to you. Remember that people make mistakes and say and/or do some very silly, sometimes pretty f#%ked up stuff but try to think of all the good they have brought into your life before this foolishness occurred then decide if they are worth it or not.

Love Delza xoxo

Stay tuned for my next installment on relationships when I tackle the whole online dating and hook up section.

Have You Checked Your Hooha Lately?

Oh no, did I just say “hooha”? Did that spike your interest? Good. So let’s talk pussy, I mean vaginas….. eeekkk scary. Don’t be scared, vaginas are fascinating things. So, just to clarify…. as we know I am not a health professional so Im only going to address the topics I come across in my life. Being a Beauty Therapist specialising in waxing I see a lot of hoohas, yep you’re jealous right. Plus with my performing and modelling I also get a glance at many naked bodies. Yay for me…. seriously, I have the life. Im not even kidding.

Let’s not get carried away too quickly. Firstly, do you know how many of my clients have actually told me that they have never had a good look at their own vagina or more to the point, their vulva. Look let’s be honest who actually goes around calling it their vulva? “Send me a pic of your vulva”…. yeah nah…. “send me a pic of your pussy”…. yes, yes, much better lol. So what ever you call it, technical terms or slang, you know what I’m going on about. From now on I’m just going to refer to this body part as ‘kitty’. Are we all on board now?…. Good, great, wonderful.

Back to this whole shock horror of women not checking out their own kitties, what!!! Ladies c’mon, how do you not look at this. Like seriously you have to look at it at some point, in the mirror naked? Washing yourself? Taking a sexy pic? hmmmm…. Now I’m wondering if I’m in the minority here, sending kitty pics to my partner. I mean that is a normal thing right. Tinder peeps, help me out on this one, that’s got to be normal, right? Anyways, stick to the topic. Ladies for the love of all things holy and not, look at your darn kitty.

This part of your body {including internal parts attached} is absolutely wondrous, the giver of life, pleasure, oh and pain, how can we forget that part. Are you scared of how it looks? Is this the issue? I have mentioned visuals in a pervious blog {please refer to 1,2,3 Rip for more on this one}. Ok, ok, they aren’t the most amazing thing to look at but is a penis {insert eggplant emoji} any better. Im not overly sure these body parts were ever made for visual effect.

So, I really think all of us need to grab out a mirror and have good long look at our kitties. We all need a Charlotte moment right about now…. and if you are too young to get that reference I highly suggest you look that up ‘Sex And The City’ S2 E4 – The Real Me but for a visual reference right now see pic at the top of this post. That’s correct look at it, all of it.

I am a huge advocate for body confidence and positivity and I feel that this is something about ourselves that really gets overlooked, or more to the point never looked at. Loving our bodies just as they are is a hard thing to accomplish and something we more than likely will work on our entire lives, but learning to love our bodies includes all parts. Also, finding love for your body will help with finding the confidence to show your body to your partner, lover or even tinder hook up and ultimately impact any intimate times. Visually all kitties appear similar but not one is the same as another. They change as we get older, have children or suffer health issues. Some have lots of hair, others not so much or not at all {huge thanks to waxing or shaving}, some have skin pigmentation, moles, skin tags, stretch marks, all sorts of things factor into appearance. Not all kitties are neatly tucked away and more commonly the inner labia does poke out from the outer labia. Stop thinking your kitty isn’t pretty or isn’t what is considered to be ‘normal’. Normal is exactly what you have tucked between your thighs.

Not only is it good to learn to love and accept the appearance of your kitty but its also good to know when something changes. Being able to identify changes to the skin surface of your kitty and also notice any changes to the smell or fluids is really beneficial to your own health. Your Beauty Therapist shouldn’t know your kitty better than you do. Also, whilst we are on topic of health…… big shout out to pap smears. Serious time…. Far too many of you are too darn scared to go see a doctor and get a pap smear done. There is absolutely no need to be scared or embarrassed. For that very brief moment of showing your kitty to your Doctor could save your life.

Now, go get those mirrors out and enjoy the view for exactly what it is, not what you think it’s meant to look like. Happy hooha viewing ladies.

Love Delza xoxo

Its All About The Name

Let’s talk stage names. The name you go by as a performer, artist, model etc. instead of using your ‘muggle’ name. So what is so important about that name? To some, maybe it’s not a big deal but to most, this is a massive deal. A name helps to identify who you are as a performer or artist. A name can tell a lot about how you identify as your character/alter ego, are you cheeky, playful, mysterious, sultry, serious, classy, comical…. and the list goes on.

For me, I originally chose my name aimed more towards myself as a burlesque artist, even though I started in pinup before burlesque, it’s just the way it worked out. Fortunately I chose something that fitted for both. Bonus! This is not an easy task when you are still working on establishing your character. Which can actually take a fair while and can change over time as you grow as a performer.

So, how did I choose my name….. this is a story only a few actually know, feel privileged that I’m sharing this with you, hehe. After doing much research on choosing a stage name I decided I wanted something unique (doesn’t everyone), something easy to say and spell, plus something that I felt was era related to how I saw my character being. That era being a 1950s aesthetic. My grandmother’s (aka Granny) middle name came to mind. She was born in 1931, making her a young adult in the 50’s. This was perfect. Easy to say, spell, correct era and above all UNIQUE!!! Ta da …… “Delza”. A name my Granny had not been a fan of her whole life, until I gave it the ‘right’ place of use, hehe. So that was my first name done, now for a last name. This was a little harder. I originally wanted ‘Blue’ but unfortunately there was already another performer at the dance studio I was at using blue in her name. Back to the drawing board…… then the thought of finding another name for blue <light bulb moment> sky blue….. and that was it “Skye” it was…… and just like that ‘DELZA SKYE’ was born.

Photo by : https://www.facebook.com/starkillerkreations/

This name is rather special to me for obvious reasons. I had been performing under this name for a little over 3 years and everyone knew me as Delza, not many people even call me by my muggle name within the burlesque and pinup community, so when I left the dance studio I was at and I was told I couldn’t keep my name I was absolutely not having a bar of that bull s*#t! That’s my name!!! Now to clear something up here…. there are stage name registries for both burlesque and pinup that have a list names being used and you can also do a google search of names. I highly recommend this when choosing a name. You really don’t want to choose a name only to find out someone else is using it. “Hello, unique”! Also once you’ve chosen your name its a good idea to register it. Usually this is free or its a small yearly fee. However, this does not mean you have legal claim to the name. It is simply a list of names so you know what is already being used. After speaking to my lawyer I found out that the only way to have full legal claim to a name is to trademark it. So what do you think I did…. you bet your ass, I trademarked my name. You can look it up if you don’t believe me. Yes, I know this may seem excessive but if you knew the person I was dealing with in regards to saying they owned my name, you’d do the same. Trust me on this one. I also made sure I secured the web address, email and business name. Delza Skye is 100% all mine. Now of course you do not need to go to this extent. This is as I said is excessive, but for me necessary. Changing my name to stop any conflict was not an option to me. Perhaps if the name was not so special to me, maybe I would of considered it. Probably not though.

Things to consider when choosing your stage name….

– Think about your character and who they are. You don’t want a name that doesn’t fit with that.

– Is it easy to pronounce or spell? If people can’t say it or spell it, it will be harder to remember or look you up on social media.

– Definitely look on registries and do a google search. Seriously you don’t want to accidently have the same name as someone else. It’s confusing and annoying to the other performer. Plus, how will you be able to use that name on social media? Changing the spelling is still a no no.

– This one can be hard but try to be unique. Be you. No one else is you.

Have a really good think about your name, don’t choose quickly, put some thought into it. Do your research. Make a list of things you like (eg: favourite colour or drink). Look up different words for a particular word (eg: purple – violet or lavender). Ask friends to help. Good luck.

-Delza xoxo

1, 2, 3 and rip

Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about waxing but too shy to ask.

There are all sorts of ‘taboo’ things that happen within the walls of a beauty salon. Waxing being the main one. Waxing? You ask. Well I’m here to throw some light on this hush hush topic and answer the questions you may be to shy to ask for yourself.

Photo by : Fate Photography

Being in the beauty industry for just over 20 years now, I’ve seen and heard all sorts of things and it has made me numb to most of those things and I find I’m having to remind myself that others are super shy to ask a question about or book in for such taboo things.

I feel this will be best if I just be blunt and say it how it is. Please keep in mind this is coming from my personal experiences from my time working in a beauty salon and that I have limited services offered to men, so please take no offence my skill set in intimate areas is solely focused on female parts. I have not been trained in the art of waxing doodles and balls [yes, this is something you do need to be trained in]. That being said, let’s jump right on in….

Waxing…. waxing of the intimate areas. Now, getting a Brazilian wax these days is not considered taboo, but in fact a completely ‘normal’ salon treatment. But, it’s the butt [hehe pun 100% intended], yes, that’s correct, getting your booty waxed and I mean butthole. Yep, totally just said butthole. Now, this again is an absolutely normal salon treatment and I offer it as part of getting a Brazilian wax done. I, however do still ask if the client wants this area waxed or not, instead of just rolling them to the side and asking them to spread their cheeks. So why is this still classed as ‘taboo’ if it’s also classed as ‘normal’ ? Well, would you believe this area makes a lot of clients either blush, make shock horror faces at me or begs the question as to why you would get this done or need it done.

Many years ago I would pussy foot around the answer to this until one day I thought to hell with it, just be honest. Again, this is my opinion based on my own personal experiences and discussions within the salon. Ok, so heads up, a few home truths, there is hair there, yes, hair on and around the butt hole. The amount varies from person to person but there is hair there, trust me. You’ve just waxed all the hair from the outer part of your vagina area which is rather close to your bottom area. So you can bet your bottom dollar [again, pun intended] I’ve seen that there is hair there and trust me I’ve waxed down as far as I can reach, for now. Ok, I’m going to get personal here, continue reading with caution….

Deep breathe …. when one is naked, whilst being intimate or not do you or have you ever bent over in a doggy styled position? I’m guessing you have at one time or another. In this position I’m sure you can imagine that your naked booty is on display for all whom are in the room, am I right? Now, think to yourself, what is said person or people [no judgement here, the more the merrier] looking at? You can bet your ass [I’m on fire with puns] they are NOT looking at the ceiling and to the best of my knowledge they are looking directly at the peach and thinking of how they can ummmmmm….. use your imagination before I turn this into a porno, but you get the idea. Now, it’s up to you to make the decision if you wish to have a fuzzy peach or not.

Alrighy then, now that that has been addressed you can now understand as to why one would want and/or need to wax their butt. It is also very normal for not only the butt hole and ass crack to be waxed but also the butt cheeks. So, do not fear having hair in these places is as normal as having hair on your pussy and I don’t mean your cat.

Body hair, we all have it. Again, this varies from person to person. Please be assured that body hair is very normal. The amount of hair and the colour of the hair can vary for all sorts of reasons, [some examples: genetics, hormones or illness]. Hormones can cause hair growth on areas that weren’t particularly hairy before [for example: on women, the chin area, sides of the face, back, stomach and backs of legs or thighs and even the nipple area]. I have seen all of this many many times and you can be assured that asking for these areas or any area to be waxed is 100% normal.

Let’s get to the frequently asked questions and the do’s and don’ts of salon etiquette when you are booked in for a wax, particularly for intimate areas. Firstly, use the baby wipes provided. Even if you just had a shower, use the wipes. When your Beauty Therapist tells you there are baby wipes there, they aren’t offering it as an option, it’s a request. Use them, we thank you in advance. If the hair down below on your kitty [again, not your cat] is a little on the over grown side, please trim before you come to your appointment, we are not hairdressers and do not want to cut your over grown pubic hair for you. If it’s that time of the month, yes you can still be waxed, please put a tampon in and tuck the string between the inner labia, so that the string is not hanging out. You do not want that caught in the wax. If you have a piercing down below let your Beauty Therapist know, sometimes we can’t see it until it’s too late. Again, you do not want wax getting caught on that. For the love of all things holy [pun hehe] please do NOT have sex and come [hehe pun again] to your waxing appointment with cum inside you, yes it dribbles out. Yes, you can wear your knickers or G-string during your waxing treatment, however please be aware that there is a chance you could get wax on the fabric. So perhaps don’t wear your super expensive sexy lace underwear. Yes, you can still be wax during your pregnancy, some women find it slightly more painful and some find it less painful. Finally…. Yes, it hurts but not nearly as much as you may expect and different areas of the body feel pain differently.

So what is the difference between having a bikini line wax and a Brazilian wax? Now, this can be described by many different salons as different things and different names but I like to keep it pretty basic. A bikini line wax is waxing the hair from the area outside of your normal everyday knickers, briefs or bikini, hence the name bikini line. An extended bikini wax is waxing the area outside of your G-string area including a little off the top. So not all off but tapered in nicely. Then there is the Brazilian wax. This can be removing all hair completely off or a thin triangle shape left at the top, with all of the underneath hair removed from the outer labia and of course the butt hole and butt crack too. I have many clients who still opt for having the bottom area waxed even if not getting a Brazilian, so this is also an option. Many clients also get their tummy or ‘snail trail’ done as part of any type of intimate area wax.

Another ‘taboo’ question relating to the intimate areas of a woman. Do vaginas all look different? Damn right they all look different. I mean they are all similar in aesthetic, they are all vaginas after all, but yes, they are all different. Seriously, here’s the biggest wow….. an ‘outy’ is more common than an ‘inny’, OMG mind blown! To be more direct, it is very common and 100% normal if your inner labia sticks out or is larger than your outer labia, creating what is known as an ‘outy’. So ladies please stop thinking this is weird or abnormal because it is NORMAL!

Well that was a lot to take in. Did I shock you? Did I make you a giggle? I hope so, because I was giggling as I was writing it. I know, I’m so hilarious, aren’t I. I hope that I gave you a good insight into my life as a waxing professional and answered a lot of those ‘taboo’ questions you’ve been dying to ask. Please don’t be nervous or shy to ask a question that may seem taboo, the chances are your Beauty Therapist has answered that same question many times over. I myself am happy to answer any question, no matter how blush worthy it may be.

-Delza Skye xoxo

My Life As A Pinup Mum

All mums are unique and different but being a pinup mum means sticking out like a sore thumb.

For that particular reason it took a little bit for me to transform into an everyday pinup. Even before I started dressing in a pinup style way I always made sure I put the effort in to looking good each day. It’s just me (or the Beauty Therapist in me), always has been, wearing make up and doing a little something to my hair each day makes me feel good. I kind of envy the mums that wear no makeup and have their hair in a ‘mum bun’, the amount of extra time I’d have each day, but would you believe that I can do a victory roll but I can’t seem to master a messy bun.

I started getting into the pinup scene about 5 years ago but it took a few years for me to fully transform and some days I do have what I call a ‘mum day’ where I wear jeans and a t-shirt and don’t do my pinup hair or make up. And, yes, I do have days when I wear tracky dacks and no make up. We all need those days. Anyhow, as I started to wear red lipstick more and more and dresses with petticoats and bright coloured hair flowers in my hair, I found I was being stared at more and more. A friend actually told me that some of the other mums found me to be intimidating. Which actually hurt my feelings and confidence so much that I felt that had to dull it down to fit in. Really…. why should it matter what I look like or wear, but unfortunately to some it does. I have many friends that are the complete opposite of me and it doesn’t bother either party, we are just different. Into different things and like different things. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest how you dress, a friend is a friend and a mum is a mum.

Then myself and my little family moved suburbs which meant changing schools for my boys. This also meant a fresh start, no one knew me there, so pinup all the way. So far I am yet to see another pinup mummy at this school. I stand out, but in a good way. All the kids know who’s mum I am (hehe, sorry boys) and the other mums love seeing me dressed up. I get so many compliments and I don’t feel weird being the ‘odd one’. I did have a little giggle last year when one mum asked me how I find the time to look the way I do each day….. [hehe] my reply “I get up 2 hours before the kids so I can do my hair and makeup”, the shock horror on her face and few others was worth it…. I then had a little laugh and said ” just joking, it only takes me 20-30 mins max on a day to day basis”. Aside from the hair and makeup, getting dressed doesn’t take any longer than putting on ‘normal’ clothes.

I’m sure you’re wondering, what do my kids think…..

I have 2 boys who are 10 and 8. They absolutely love how I look.
They say I’m the prettiest mum ever. Which they are totally obligated to say, regardless [haha], but it’s still nice to hear. My youngest often goes and picks out my dresses or accessories he wants me to wear. They enjoy going to the pinup meet ups, car shows and watching pinup parades, especially if I’m in one. I even had the pleasure of having a little pinup shoot with my boys, which I never thought would happen with 2 boys but they loved it and the photos are adorable. My 8 year old is definitely more interested than my 10 year old and even has a few favourite pinups, other than his mummy. They have never asked me to change how I look and aren’t embarrassed by me sticking out, which definitely makes me happy. Plus, they think I’m famous because so many people stop me to compliment my outfit and sometimes ask for a photo. It’s super cute. Shhh….. Don’t tell them any different.

Photo by : https://www.angiedelariephotography.net/

These days I’m happy to ‘stick out like a sore thumb’, because I’m me. It’s taken me so long to be happy just being me, so I’m not giving up on it. Never be afraid to be you. All us mums are doing our own thing. If you are happy with no make up, wearing a full face of makeup, wearing active wear, wearing heels, wearing whatever…. do it. If any of the judgy mummies (they are out there, we’ve all come across them) want to look at you and judge, let them because who cares. You do you and I’ll do me.

Delza Skye xoxo

A Juggling Act

How do I do it?

Be a Mum, a wife, a friend, work, and still find time to be me….. well it isn’t always easy. It is definitely a juggling act.
I think I’m finally getting the hang of it but, it’s still a work in progress.

There is many times where I cry or scream or completely loose my s*#t. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve felt like a failure. Seriously, where is the reset button? If only you could go back and get a do over…. but that’s not how life works. We have to push forward, learn from our mistakes and hope to do better in the future and yes, you are going to make mistakes, like a lot of mistakes.

I have two gorgeous boys, who are 10 and 8. I like to say that this age is a good age. Both in fulltime school, no car seats or prams, not little boys but not too grown up either. Happy to be seen holding my hand and will always give me a hug and a kiss in front of their friends. However, still cause me to pull my hair out on a regular basis. Seriously, how many times do I have to ask them to get dressed for school….. but that’s kids hey.

My husband works FIFO (fly in out fly out) on a really good roster of one week on and one week off. I have a beauty salon that I run from home which is great for flexible hours and I also do photography part time. Plus I’m a burlesque performer which is mainly evening hours which is a little harder when my hubby is away at work. I think we do a pretty good job of looking after the kids between us but sometimes we need help and that’s when its time to call in the grandparents (thank heavens for grandparents) or babysitters.

So at this stage in life things are running fairly smoothly (for now anyways), but this was not always the case and I’ve found over the years that trying to make everything work at the same time often means dropping the ball on one or more things. There are only so many hours in a day to fit in work (those bills aren’t going to pay themselves), time with my kids, time with my hubby, time as a family and with extended family, time with friends, time for the gym and time for me. Plus housework, homework, paperwork ……… far out and try to eat a balanced diet (note: this includes donuts, wink wink) and sleep enough hours………… I’m exhausted!

Over the years I have tried and failed more times than I can count and usually have someone annoyed at me because I’m “too busy” for them. I am the type of person who wears their heart on their sleeve and cares (sometimes far too much) about others. I am never “too busy” for something or someone but I do have a busy a life so I can’t just drop everything. Believe me I will try my absolute best to do everything and it’s a hard thing for me to say “no”. So if I say “no”, trust me it’s because I really can’t.

Many times I’ve pushed myself beyond exhaustion trying to do everything. This is not good for your physical health or mental health. I have suffered depression and anxiety over the years which I manage to hide away from most people because <my feelings and words> I don’t like to feel like a burden on anyone. This again is not a good thing. Bottling up all of this only makes things worse. A lot of my relationships have suffered from this. A few years ago it got so bad that I put my marriage at risk and even managed to push my best friend away to a point that no matter how hard I’ve tried I think that relationship is over, which believe me is not easy to get over, if I even ever do. All because it was easier to hide my feelings than talk about them.

Even when I was pregnant with my second baby, I worked so many hours that I literally landed myself in hospital and was told enough is enough. So, juggling all aspects of your life is hard. Making time for everyone and everything but also learning to say the big fat scary word “no” is a lesson in itself. One I’m still struggling to learn myself.

When my kids were younger I owned and operated a day spa in the lobby of a city hotel and hubby worked away on a 2/1 roster. Two weeks at a time on my own with the kids still working and commuting to the city most days rushing around doing daycare and school drop offs then rushing back for pick up was not an easy task. Relying, at times, heavily on family to help with the kids while I worked, because of the late nights and weekend work.

So many people ask “how did you do it?”, well you just do what you have to because no one else is going to do it. I did however reach a point where I knew my kids needed me there more and I couldn’t put the time into the salon as much as it needed. Something had to change. So I made the hard decision to sell the salon and set up from home. This meant I would have the flexibility to take the kids to school and pick them up, take them to weekend sports, go on excursions, go to school assemblies and also have time with my hubby on his week off.

Best decision ever! This was the first step into making my life so much easier. I had spent 14 years putting everything I had into my day spa, it was my baby before I had my babies, so it wasn’t easy to say goodbye to, but oh my goodness the sense of relief was overwhelming. I now had so much more time to focus on my family and also finally have time for myself. That’s right ladies, even if you are a mum you are allowed ‘me time’. So many mums I know I don’t give themselves any ‘me time’. I truly believe this is really good for your mental health. At the end of the day you were someone before becoming a mum.

Make time for you, self love is very important. Yes, I know you are very busy but I find doing something for myself makes me, in a sense, a better mum and wife. I’m not just a mum and a wife, I’m me. I started getting into the pinup and burlesque community about 4-5 years ago not thinking I would ever make some what of a career out of something that was, at the start, just a hobby. For me it was an escape from ‘mum life’. I found new friends and found confidence in myself and the way I looked at myself [see blog post – Body Positivity and Confidence]. Even just making time to go to the shops on your own (what a breathe of fresh air that is), or soaking in a bubble bath with a glass of wine is ‘me time’. You deserve it.

I try my best to have some sort of routine for my boys but it does get hard trying to juggle salon appointments and with hubby working away then home every second week does throw off the routine. We try to make it work but sometimes it all goes to s*#t and my anxiety hits all time highs and I end up yelling, crying and swearing like a sailor. It’s not pretty. Just ask my hubby <insert evil laugh>.

I am far from perfect and I’ll be honest for the most part I keep everything together but I do have moments when the house of cards starts to crumble. However, I have found that as the kids have gotten older and are more self sufficient things have become increasingly “easier”. Maybe you get better at handling things as the years go by. Maybe I’ve gotten better at being independent as my hubby isn’t always home. I’m not sure, but I do know that even the people who look like they have it altogether have days where they are screaming and yelling too.

Do any of us really have it altogether? Life is hard, relationships are hard, being a parent is hard but as corny as it sounds , it’s all worth it. Remember that there will always be crappy times, hard times, ok times and good times, but the good will always out weigh the bad. Do your best, don’t compare yourself to someone else. You don’t know how well they are handling things and what goes on in their life. Focus on your own life and living it how you want to and seriously, try not to beat yourself up too much when things don’t go “right”.

-Delza Skye xoxo

BODY POSITIVITY & CONFIDENCE

Why is it so hard for the majority of us to love our bodies?

To most people I come across very confident and happy in my own skin. This was not always the case….

I won’t lie, it’s taken me the last 3 and a bit years to love mine and even now I still have days where I have a severe dislike for my body. That’s what we do though, isn’t it? But who taught us to think this way? Why is the first thing we look at in the mirror or in a photo is what we consider our ‘worst parts’?

I’m in my mid 30’s now and if I could go back and talk to my 20 something year old self I would give her one hell of a stern talking to, to put it lightly. I was a size 6 to 8 (aus sizing) and I told myself I was fat. I’m now pretty much double that size, being a size 12, and I’m so much happier. My thighs have always touched (just the way I’m built) and I’ve always had a round booty, does that make me fat though? I look back at photos now and can’t understand how I ever thought this {shaking my head right now}.

THAT’S ME WAY BACK IN THE 1990’S

I have so many ladies in their 20s that come into my salon complaining about their bodies. About cellulite (ladies we all have cellulite, to some degree), stretch marks (from growing in our teens, gaining weight, or pregnancy) and ‘wobbly’ bits (again a normal thing). Now most of these ladies are at least ten years younger than me and most have not had children. In my head I’m thinking to myself, hmmmm just wait til you are my age and have had a few babies. Then I say to them “you need to learn to love your body now, in 10 years time you are going to want to go back and slap your 20 year old self for ever thinking anything was wrong with your body”.

So, after having two babies in my late 20s I really hit an all time body loathing moment in my life. My body had changed, I had extra cellulite and stretch marks plus I had put on weight. All completely normal things that can happen when you have a baby. Then looking at pre-baby photos it really hit hard that my body was amazing back then and I took it for granted and hated on it, why did I do that, I’d give anything to look like again {sob sob}. It took some time from then to convince myself that I needed to learn to love my body because it’s the only one I have and I’m going to have for many more years. Accepting that I can’t go back to how it was but knowing I could work on getting it close to that I started working out. This was not the easiest thing to do with a baby, a toddler, a husband that works FIFO and a salon to run….. however I did my best. Oh gosh, just thinking now the things I did. When you are sleep deprived, have limited time and options, you do what you can.

Moving on, once I started to loose some of the weight and started feeling not only healthier but happier, I then started to feel better about my body. It wasn’t until a friend took me to see a burlesque show and planted the idea in my head that I could one day be on stage just like these performers. At first I was like no way in hell am I ever doing that. Flash forward a year and bit and I find myself signing up for a burlesque class. Completely out of my comfort zone and 100% crapping myself but guess what I did it and I never looked back.

A lot of people ask me “how are you so confident?” well this is where I finally found my body confidence. This is where I learned to love my body again. Burlesque has changed the way I see myself. It didn’t happen straight away but week after week I felt more and more confident. I’m not saying burlesque is for everyone or that this is the solution but it’s what got me out of that state of mind of disliking my body to finding a new love for it. My point is more about trying something new, something scary, something that pulls you out of your comfort zone.

Which brings me to the next big thing that changed the way I felt about showing my body in public. I know what you are thinking right now, I take my clothes off on stage, yes I do…. but I never go bare legged. I always wear stockings. Those darn thighs! This part of my body has been the hardest to find love for. No matter what size I am or have been they have always been ‘big’ and now at my age there is cellulite, more than before, and spider veins {insert sad face}. I have made so many excuses to get out of putting a bathing suit on for many years. I actually feel incredibly guilty that because of my own body issues it stopped me from enjoying beach days or going to the pools with my family and friends. Then this happened…. I was asked to take part in a body positivity photo shoot. Women of all different shapes, sizes and ages. I was so scared and nervous, not only would I be in a bikini but someone would be taking photos.

Big pat on the back to myself, I did it. I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment and felt so free from being so self conscious about my legs. A week later I got in my bathers, no makeup, messy hair and went to a water park with my little family and a group of friends and I didn’t worry how I looked or who was looking at me….. and I had fun! Yes, FUN!

Have patience with yourself, this isn’t an over night thing. It takes time and what works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Life is too short to hide yourself away. Don’t spend so much time worrying about how you look and just enjoy life. Believe me in 10 years from now you will look back with much kinder eyes and love what you see and wish you didn’t say such hurtful things about yourself. You are you, and you are amazing!

-Delza Skye xoxo

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With eyes as doe as a dear, hair as black as ebony and lips as red as a Valentine’s Day kiss – Delza Skye is one Snow White sprung from the woods. With petticoats-a-plenty, she is a powerfully poised pinup, prepared to crack the mirror of perfection. Catch a glimpse of her Skye blue eyes and let her smile brighten even the most perfect Summer’s day.

 “This is one Snow White prepared to crack the mirror of perfection” 

– Delza Skye

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